How a Bill Becomes a Ma

Hey Bill! Ease it up, buddy. Is it not already enough that most lockstep Democrats idolize you like delusional those-were-the-days Republicans fawn at the feet of (the former) Ronald Reagan? In a rather bizarre affront to the necessity of a united Democratic Party in the wake of a crucial election, ex-Prez Clinton is ostensibly attempting to steal the thunder from the possibility of Obama’s being the first African-American president in United States history. Apparently we’re debating the meaning of African-American now. It’s not about race, it’s about attitude…or the ease with which you can kiss black babies on the campaign trail. Or the ability to dance.

I won’t claim to be a Clintonographer, but this just seems so strange to me. Now, I’ve heard/read conservative pundits and bloggers piss and moan about the Clinton Machine, as if it stands on par with Rovian politics, but, really, what’s with the blasé dismissal of Obama as just a “fairy tale”? As if a presidential couple isn’t fairy tale enough.

Bill suddenly took on the role of the overbearing Jewish mother, eschewing any sullen soul who dares question his over-qualified daughter, or wife. Whatever. Honestly, I sympathize with Hilldog on this one. Bill might as well interrupt Hillary mid-speech to wipe some smeared gunk off her cheek with a hanky, then uppishly admonish the audience, or else…

I guess I’ve got some beef with folks who hoist Bill up on a majestic pedestal like good-old-boy Republicans fantasize about breakfast with Reagan. To me, it comes across as another mild form of hypocrisy, because I guarantee that the nostalgic Clintonites are the ones who detest the larger-than-life fiction that is Ronald Reagan. So, they want their own blow-up doll. Hell, things were good when Bill was prez, let’s worship.

Yes, Clinton’s presidency ushered in a newfound prosperity, a truly proud moment for America, but don’t ignore the contretemps (I’m not necessarily referring to the Lewinsky hubbub, that was just ridiculous.) He lied, it was stupid. He lost the public trust. BUT, all I’m saying is, let’s try to do better. It’s a bit trite, but, think progress. Otherwise, you get stuck in the hallucination that everything was better way back when, and I hate that. Let’s keep the wheels turning and move on to something greater, and if Hillary truly is the answer to that cry for help, then so be it. Just don’t bullshit me that the first female U.S. president would be a bigger deal than the first African-American male president. You’re just splitting split ends.

Sean Paul

Every so often (more frequent than not) I find myself ruefully muttering, "I don't think they know what hypocrisy IS." Today, I saw a clip of a giddy, misguided hoard of Ron Paulistas harangue Sean Hannity right out of a restaurant, mid-ingestion, to the Generation-X-defining chant of, "Fox News Sucks!"

Class.

Surprisingly, my first thought was not, "Man, Hannity's a dick. Good for them." Quite the opposite. I could only ruminate on the quirks of this brand of "liberal activism" that fires a slug into its own foot. A shill and a quack though he may be, Hannity is not worth an unpaid tab. These Paulites are apt to cast Hannity as an insidious and deleterious propagandist, but....it's Fox News. Hell! Let's broaden that - it's cable news! Just one step away from MTV, and one channel away from Nancy Grace!

Do you accuse the parrot of echoing the master, or do you go to the source?

I'll answer that. The source. The parrot just needs to be caged in a dark room, aka a blank television screen. You don't take the parrot out back and shoot it. He just wants a cracker. With caviar.

Furthermore, Paul supporters (above all) should recognize that cable news is infotainment, where ratings dictate precedence, and Hannity is just an uber-faux-patriot-pawn on a much grander stage.

Really, have you seen the size of this guy's EGO?! It's bigger than O.J.'s Simpson's debt to society. See for yourself. Just watch the closing segment of Hannity's America on Sunday night. The square-jawed egolomaniac carts a life-size cardboard cutout of himself across the country so that regular cock-eyed Joes can tell him face-to-cardboard-face how much they sing his regular American praises. Seriously, I've never seen a single malicious or remotely caustic remark made by his "random sampling" of good, old-fashioned Americans. (Approach Hannity's America as though it were the Daily Show, and, voila, it becomes hilarious.) G'bless.